I invited Jesus Christ to come into my life at the age of fourteen. From that time on God has definitely had his hand in my life, but unfortunately my own actions and decisions separated me from having the truly loving relationship that Jesus wants to have with each and every one of us. Through much of my teen years my life was a great example of how a true Christian should not live his or her life. I was far from living a Godly life. I was an above average student. I stayed out of trouble for the most part, said my pleases and thank yous, treated people with respect and even said a prayer from time to time. I’d say I was a good example when held against the world’s standards. However, the world’s standards are very inconsistent, and very weak.
When I look back on my actions with a new light I see that I promoted and sought after a life completely caught up in sin. Much like society today I idolized shallow people for shallow reasons and attempted to find happiness in material things and fulfillment through my own strength, and without God. God would put it on my heart to clean up my act, but my feeling was always why would I do that? Sin is everywhere, it’s normal, its fun, . . . .why should I fight it? . . . so with my thick skull I continued to rebel, and the consequences never failed to follow. My short-term single lane focus was to satisfy myself, and myself only . . . and that attitude began to control my life. What started out as fun new experiences soon became addictions in my life, even thought I didn’t realize it at the time, were separating me from the very things that should be closest to my heart; my faith in Christ, my relationships with family and friends, and a passion for growing persona lly for other’s benefit. The tunnel vision I allowed myself to adopt began to damage my relationships, my confidence, and my character overall. Through those times my family continued to live by faith and they supported and prayed for me unconditionally. Without them, and the local church I’d be on a much different path and I am forever grateful.
God showed me that in order to have true fellowship with Him, I would need to put Him first. And as I began to step out in faith leaving my old habits behind it has been like the blinders are slowly being removed from my eyes. My focus is starting to turn from satisfying myself, to helping other people, and from seeking short-term results, into practicing delayed gratification. Most importantly I have learned that Jesus wants to be involved in every aspect of my life in order to strengthen, guide, and use me. As I once thought it might be, the Christian walk is rarely easy or within my comfort zone. God’s path is rarely the path of least resistance. I still have an enormous amount of growing and learning to do as this is a journey, but I’m confident that God is already using me to make a difference. I’m truly excited and passionate about the future that he has given me and I give him all the praise and glory.