I grew up in Shreveport, Louisiana. We were members of Summer Grove Baptist Church and my parents worked with the high schoolers as early as I can remember. I grew up in the church, going to DNow and Bible studies. I asked Jesus to be my personal Lord and Savior when I was 7. My dad, brother and I were at a Team Impact show and at the end of their show, they presented the Gospel. I believed in Jesus but I hadn't taken that step to make him the Lord of my life and have a personal relationship with him. That night, it just clicked with me and I knew that I needed to ask him into my heart. I was really shy and didn't want to walk forward when they called us to, but I told my dad and talked to him and my mom in the garage later that night. I got baptized shortly after that. Ever since I was little, I've struggled with anxiety. I was sick for a while and doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong with me until they finally diagnosed me with an anxiety disorder. I struggle with telling others what I am struggling with, I keep everything bottled up inside. The more I stress or worry, the more physically and mentally sick I get. When I was in the 5th grade, my grandpa passed away due to cancer in his lungs, liver, and esophagus. In 7th grade, my dad's job transferred him to Kansas City. These were both low points in my life but they were nothing compared to my absolute low point. My sophomore and junior years of high school were my absolute low point in my life and faith. I had a bout of depression and began to consider suicide. I also started dating a guy who was mentally and emotionally abusive, he always had to approve everything that I did and he always had to know where I was, who I was with, what we were doing, and what time I would be home. He acted like he was the Jesus of my life. After him I dated an unbeliever. I was lost, confused, and hurt. I thought that he gave me the love and attention that I wanted and deserved. I was wrong. We fought all the time and I wanted to break up with him. I told myself over and over that I would end it the next time he failed me or we fought. I never did. I had so many great friends that I had made because of him and I was afraid of losing them. We finally broke up when we left to go to different colleges. I went to college with a sad heart and desperately needing to find my way back to Jesus because I had strayed so far away from him. I want to put in here that I found a Christian ministry and have someone helping to lead me back to Christ through Bible studies and small groups, but I can't. I did find a Christian ministry on campus and although I am not there every week, I am there more than I am not. I am still struggling to restore the relationship that I once had with Christ but I still fail Him everyday. Within the short years that I've been on this earth, there are so many things I've done and decisions that I've made that I wish I could take back and do over. But I can't and those are the things that make my story so much stronger. If I could I would ask that you would pray for me as I continue grow closer to Christ and that I can use my story to encourage those who have gone through similar situations. The fall is a steep, slippery slope and the climb back up is far from easy. But God is greater than the highs and the lows that I face in life.
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