Joshua S.

Joshua S.

from MO
Story #401
I was saved at the young age of 5 years old, but I never really made my faith my own until I was in high school. All the way up until that point I had been a pretty good kid. I never really was a problem child and I was nice to people. I tried my very best to "be good", except for one area in my life.
I started piano lessons when I was seven. I loved playing the piano, but I absolutely hated practicing. I practiced 2 hours every single day- at least, I was supposed to. We had a piano in our basement, and along with homework, it was my assignment to practice every day and write down the number of minutes I practiced. Since I practiced in the basement, I used this to my advantage. I started to fudge numbers and tell my parents I was practicing the regular 2 hours when I was really only spending upwards of 15 minutes actually "practicing". Since I was in the basement, my parents never knew I wasn't practicing because they couldn't hear me either way.
Unfortunately, this chronic habit of lying opened up the gateway to more possibilities to get away with more things. I became a very good liar, and I continued to find ways in which I could lie to get my way. Nobody ever knew because I seemed like such a good kid on the outside, and I was, but I just became so wrapped up in the fact that I could get my way so easily if I just lied about everything. This all began to change over time once I started realizing that I could gain no happiness from chronic dishonesty. I think it was around the time when I was in my sophomore year when this thought hit me the hardest. I had received an award for a piano competition. I knew I didn't deserve it and I felt very guilty after being congratulated on all of my "hard work". The Lord immediately began to do a great work in my life. I started reading the Bible more and slowly began defeating the temptation to lie. It was at this point in my life where I begin to nurture a more personal relationship with Jesus Christ. After surrendering my problems to him I progressively began to feel more liberated. A burden was being lifted from my shoulders.
Today I live more transparent than ever before, knowing that Christ knows my every breath. I consider myself to be very honest with people now, and life has never been better! Jesus has helped me cultivate a new trustworthy self that others can turn to for help. Now that I look back on what I've done in the past, everything seems so futile and I know that none of it brought glory to His name.
Now I am only living for Jesus and not for myself. Lying only ever brought me guilt and shame and now I know that I'll never go back because He had compassion on me and helped me through the time in my life when I needed Him most.