Hau L.

Hau L.

from MO
Story #443
I was born and raised in a Christian family in northeast India where I attended Sunday schools and other church related events regularly. For that reason, I grew up believing I was a Christian and even claimed to be one. In fact, I thought I was one of the ‘good’ Christians even though I never really had any personal relationship with Christ. I obeyed my parents (most of the time) and never fought at school, I thought I had a good moral standard and that was all I desired!

As I got older, I started distancing myself from the Church because I noticed nothing about going to Church was appealing or even ‘uplifting’ for me. Noticing my rebellious heart deep inside, my mother would take me (almost forcefully) to Church and she would send me to Bible camps. Even though I never liked her ideas, I couldn’t resist because I was supposed to be the ‘good’ kid. But, nothing ever helped!

As I was getting into Junior High, I drifted farther away from the little good things I had learned at Sunday schools and from my parents when I was younger. This was also when I started seeking acceptance from peers and got into substance abuse and the habit of drinking (Yep, you read that right! I started drinking when I was in my 8th grade).

Long story short, I got caught at school after a friend of mine (I was drinking with before school in the morning) passed out in the middle of the day. I got suspended from school for 3 weeks and I was grounded at home. Everyone I knew was shocked! As big as maintaining that ‘good kid image’ was to me, losing it all in just a snap of a finger was bigger and it was very hard for me to understand what had happened. All the lies I would make myself believe about having all my life together and getting the trust from my parents and thinking I was (always at least a little) better than my friends all just vanished, just like that. I wasn’t even allowed to go to school or meet up with any of my friends when all of them were doing life without me. And even if I could go out, meeting with my friends won’t happen anyway because every parent would want their kids away from the ‘bad’ kid at school who drank on his way to school from home, I thought!

Reality struck me!! All was gone and I had nothing to boast. I was deep down at the bottom of life, I felt!

But God’s grace met me there, when I was most empty and lost. All of the stories I had heard about Jesus’s death to pay for my sins and His abundant grace I had heard at Bible camps and sermons all started to make sense at that point. “This is the very reason why Jesus had to die for me, because He knew all along that I was a sinner and I would mess up in life”, I told myself! God’s love became clear as day to me that I had no option but to accept Him as my Lord and Savior. So, I did!

Now thinking back, I realized the sermons I had heard at churches and the stories of Jesus taught at Bible camps were never appealing to me earlier because I was already so full of pride, ego and self-righteousness. I thought I had made a good enough life out of myself! So, I never understood the concept that I needed Jesus to forgive me, until I hit rock bottom and I lost everything I treasured.

To conclude, I wish I could tell you that everything else after that was just sunshine and no rain and that I was always able to make the godliest choices in my life as a believer. But the fact is quite the opposite of that. My spiritual growth journey or sanctification process in the past 10 years has been a slow and stagnant one, full of ups and downs. So many times, God had to take me through unexpected rough terrains in life to shape off my rough and ugly edges, my pride and confidence. And even more times, I would put myself out in the desert because of the ungodly choices I had made. But through all of these, I am not alone anymore and I have Christ to boast for!

And here is what I have learned over time- THE GOSPEL OF SALVATION IS ENOUGH AT ALL TIMES AND GOD’S GRACE NEVER FAILS TO AMAZE, NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE IN LIFE. THE WEAKER I BECOME, THE MORE I SEE THE WONDERS OF GOD’S GRACE!!

I hope you are encouraged by my story and I appreciate that you took the time to read through it (it is quite a bit but I promise it is not even half of what I would typically write). Also, if you are interested to hear more about my story, send me a direct email- I am more than willing to share more about what Christ did in my life and how He has been using me here in the US. Blessings!

Click here to send a direct email to Hau.