I grew up in a home where Jesus was the center. I was taught stories from the Bible and was in church all the time. My upbringing laid the foundation for a decision that I would one day make on my own. At the age of 6, I was diagnosed with scoliosis (curvature of the spine) which led to wearing a brace that went from my chin down my entire torso. Though I was a typical little girl, I quickly felt different and insecure. Those feelings followed me as I grew.
At the age of 8, I finally understood that even in my insecurities and struggle to love myself, God loved me. He loved me enough to send his son to die for me. Choosing to trust Jesus at that age, came after realizing that no one was perfect. We were all the same…sinners. Jesus died for me and loved me just as I was. I wanted to live in heaven and not experience the alternative. I knew I needed him in my life…even though I didn’t really know for sure what that meant. That day I asked God to forgive me of my sin and to come into my life.
Following Jesus has been a journey. There have been good days and bad days…but He has never left me. At the age of 11, I had surgery to help prevent my back from getting worse. After all the years of wearing the brace, it was time for something more. I remember questioning God and wondering why this was His plan for me. Laying in the hospital bed waiting for my body cast and in awful pain, I began to think through the story of Joseph. Joseph endured many things that didn’t make sense. Things happened to him that were out of his control, yet God was with him the whole way.
Every day I have to make the choice to trust Him and trust that He has a good plan for my life. Even as an adult, I battle with trust issues and insecurity. However, I have confidence in him. I have walked through things that don’t make sense. Some things that have caused hurt and pain. But, I still have joy because of Jesus. When things seem uncertain or when I long to be in control, I know that His plans are far better than mine. When I begin to doubt myself or compare myself to others, I trust that his opinion is the only one that really matters and that guides me. He has allowed the “differences” in my life to become tools to build my character and to strengthen my relationship with Him. I wouldn’t be the wife, mother, daughter, teacher or friend that I am today, without Jesus in my life.
God continues to grow me and stretch me in many areas…including my history with scoliosis. Recently my daughter was diagnosed with the same disorder. Clearly, God prepared me for this new journey, as a mom. He is already at work in her life and I trust that He will use this as a tool to point people to Him.