My whole life I have have grown up in the church. I had a grandpa that was a pastor and he really set the standard of Godly living and teaching. As an adult now though I look back on being a child and I feel like I was just going through the motions. Going to church because that's just what was done on Sunday's. I went to a private school and I think I got a pretty good teaching about who Christ was but I don't know that I knew how to apply that to my life. I was saved when I was about 8 years old and baptized some time later by my grandpa. Skipping through some time and years and now being in high school and in public school I was faced with some challenges. Now, I was a Christian in a school full of non-believers, so I kinda hid the fact that I was "different" from everyone else in fear of not making friends. I lost the closeness that I would say I had with Jesus Christ. At this point I did not enjoy going to church and felt like it was more of a chore than anything else. In my new school and new job I made some friends that weren't the best influence on my life. I didn't have any accountability and so I started to drift even further away from God. I got into and started doing some things that I ultimately knew I should not be doing but did them anyways. I found myself and my life in danger and in serious need of guidance. At just nineteen years old I found myself pregnant, and at that time I've never felt more alone. I was embarrassed and utterly broken. My world was flipped upside down. I could not forgive myself for what I had let happen. If I'm being honest, I hated myself for my actions. We all sin but my sin was visible for everyone to see and talk about. I was finally able to forgive myself once I realized in the middle of a Bible study on forgiveness if God and Jesus Christ can forgive me than why could I not forgive myself? As read in 1 John 1:9 "...he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness", I finally realized the love that Christ had and has for me as a sinner. After being able to forgive myself I developed a love for going to church and wanting to dive head first into His gospel. I found an amazing church and pastor that got me excited about going to church. I know that God will always love me and welcome me with open arms. Even at my worst moments God was still there for me and keeping me safe although I did not have my eyes on Him. I have never been closer in my walk with Christ than I am now. I am so excited to see where or how He will move in me next. It is so awesome the work that God is doing in my life!
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