I never needed God in my life. I had just graduated with honors from one of the top journalism schools in the country. I secured the job I wanted out of state. Life was great. I gave myself all the credit and looked forward to a successful future. Everything revolved around me so why did I need God? For the next four years, I worked hard at my job, gained new friendships and partied every weekend. Eventually, I married a woman just for her looks, nothing else. She, too, was a non-believer. A couple of months later, I landed a new job at the nation’s leading agribusiness advertising agency at the time, doing what I loved best. God was completely absent from the picture.
Little did I know my life was about to flip upside-down. In just a short two-month period, I lost just about everything. My mother was killed in a freak farm accident. I discovered my new wife had betrayed me only six months into the marriage. We separated in anger and filed for divorce. I came home one night after work to discover she had emptied our apartment, stripping me of all my material possessions, trucked to her boyfriend’s home. My employer had just been bought out with rumors of layoffs pending. My car even caught fire one night. My father was then hospitalized with terminal pancreatic cancer. Do you think God was trying to get my attention? In my dad’s hospital room late at night, I broke down and cried out to God.
In tears, I told God I couldn’t fight this anymore. I had given up. My strength was gone. I had hit rock bottom. I was so close to just ending it all. Fighting off all my former smugness, I sank to my knees and cried out, “I need you, Lord. I’ve shut you out of my life and I am so very sorry. Please save me. Restore me. I confess all of my wrongs, and I want to turn my life over to you, Lord!” How did I even know about God? You see, I was brought up in church, but I was too rebellious. The message never took. I grew to despise church because of the way my parents physically forced me to go. But the seed of salvation had been planted deep inside me. I knew what to do, but I never made that choice. The time had come to do so.
“Please save me, Lord!” I cried out in that dimly lit hospital room, my father’s IV beeping behind me. “I need you, sweet Jesus, as my Lord and Savior!” I was on my knees in tears, feeling so battered, hurt and empty with thoughts of taking my own life racing in my head.
Then something happened I never saw coming. I felt a warm presence enter me. A very loving, peaceful, gentle yet strong presence filling every part of me. I knew in my heart God’s Spirit was in the room with me. I was physically incapable of generating this myself. Tears pouring down my face, I thanked Him and praised Him repeatedly. The transformation was miraculous. For the first time in my life, I felt an overwhelming sense of love, peace, joy and purpose that I never could have created myself, especially on this night. This experience was as real as it gets. I was saved that night and my life was transformed.
My entire life changed that night. No longer would I focus upon my little selfish life. Now I would dedicate my life to my Heavenly Father who saved me through His Son Jesus Christ. Before, I was filled with selfish pride. Now I am filled with a Godly love and focus. Living for Jesus, not myself. Once was blind but now I see. Once was lost but now am found through His amazing grace.
If you think you’ve got it all figured out on your own power, think again. The Bible’s message is very clear. You are powerless without God. Dust in the wind, but with a divine purpose. Human desires are part of God’s creation and therefore not inherently evil, but they become twisted when not directed by and toward God. God’s grace will be extended to those who are humble before him. Thus says the Lord: “Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom, let not the mighty man boast in his might, let not the rich man boast in his riches, but let him who boasts boast in this, that he understands and knows me, that I am the Lord who practices steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth. For in these things I delight, declares the Lord.” Jeremiah 9:23–24