I spun my wheels for years chasing after the perfect man who would desire and accept me as I was, the perfect close-knit family, and the perfect job where my talents and passions would be satisfied. These are all good things… except my ideas of them were based on what I had learned from pop culture. Basically sex=love, accomplishment=acceptance, and power=success (thanks Saved By the Bell and MTV music videos!). These ideologies and the choices I made up to that point left me with a divorce, strained and shallow relationships, no sense of purpose, and absolute emptiness.
As the “dreams” I clung onto for so long fell apart, I started hearing messages of hope and healing; first through snippets of a Christian radio broadcast, then through chunks of sermons and eventually Scripture. In 2012, I decided to hand my life over to Jesus because I was not doing a great job – and everything I was hearing and learning about God said He cared about me, and He could do much better.
It has been a wild adventure ever since!! For the first six years, God used that time to “set up the dominos” as I like to call it. He slowly and methodically deconstructed the way I thought about love, relationships, and identity. It was pretty much trying to take candy from a head-strong brute, but He always won out in the end, and I am so grateful! Ever gracious and exhaustively patient, He gently revealed one hurt after another. Removing the inadequate bandages I use, He cleaned off the callouses formed around my heart and tended to my wounds. It’s just like in real life when you pour alcohol onto an open wound… man it hurt, and there were many tears. Through this process, I have embraced my true identity, discovered what real love requires, and learned about a servant’s heart.
For those who have the patience to set up dominoes, you understand the best part is watching them knock one another down as the pattern is revealed. Lo’ and behold, God gave me exactly what I had been chasing aimlessly for all those years past! I have since met THE perfect man that loves me just as I am, so much so that He gave his life as a ransom for my own. Yep – it’s Jesus. I have also been given brothers and sisters. I would say they couldn’t be more dear to me if they were blood-related, but we are bound together by the blood of Christ Jesus. Lastly, I have found and continue to discover my passion every day as God has turned every opportunity of my life into a job to further his Kingdom and bring others this transformative news! It is the most rewarding job, with immediate and eternal rewards. When Paul says in Ephesians that “God is able to do immeasurably more than all we can ask or imagine,” he wasn’t exaggerating.
What about you? What’s your story? Are you ready to take God at His word and experience the biggest adventure of your life? Are you ready for God to do more than you can ask or imagine?! My prayer is you will say “Yes!”